July 2, 2006- Acting a fool

It has been exactly a week since I moved in with my host family in Santa Eulalia, and it has honestly been one of the longest weeks I have had in a really long time. I can barely believe that I was in Pennslyvania two weeks ago, enjoying all that my home state has to offer right before coming here. I have had a few rough days, made better by coming home and smelling all of my laundry, which still retains the smell of home. I was even able to call home, only to have my mom ask, “Are you in Washington D.C. still?” No, mom, I am in Peru doing the Peace Corps. Apparently you don’t miss me enough to even keep track of where I am. Thanks for that. Geez Louise.

Our days, including Saturdays, have been full of training sessions and language courses. I think some of the more competent people in my group might be bothered by how many trainings we have, but they have been really useful for me. Yesterday was my favorite training so far: an interactive lesson on composting and organic gardening. The Peace Corps is really making me put more thought into the activities that I might want to implement in my future community. Each activity that we have had within training has had about 5 objectives. Gardening will be useful in our communities because it can be a source of income, it can provide a way for us to teach our communities about proper nutrition, and it can help to integrate us into our respective communities. I have always had an uncultivated interest in gardening, and after this training, I think that it might become very dear to me, maybe one of the only activities within my service to help me alleviate stress. I am excited to start practicing with my current host family. Some of the volunteers, including myself, have plans to start urban gardens in empty bottles for practice. This way while we are in Santa Eulalia, we can grow herbs and small plants that may be of use to our families here.

When we are not in training, we are encouraged to spend time with our host families, and work on the many community-involvement projects that we have been given. Because I am in such an unfamiliar environment, I am expecting things to be comfortable way too early on, and I was struggling with this a lot this week. My host family is full of very warm people, but they are not the most inclusive crowd, which leaves me feeling very lonely sometimes, especially when I have difficult days at the training center. I feel a bit like I have lost parts of my personality that make me unique, because those parts don’t shine through when I am struggling to communicate in this different dialect. I have been trying my hardest not to compare my experience to other peoples in my group, because the majority of them are having experiences that I would probably enjoy more. I spent the better half of this week trying to repair a communication glitch that occurred early on. One night, I was sleeping over a friend’s house, and thought that I had appropriately communicated this to my host mom. Unfortunately, I actually hadn’t, and she and my host dad spent almost 6 hours the next day worrying about me and asking people in the neighborhood if they had seen me. I arrived home to an angry host dad who lectured me about effective communication, addressing me as though I was a child. I really wanted to cry, or at least scream really loudly. He made me so nervous that throughout the rest of the week, I clumsily continued doing idiotic things. For instance, I misplaced my host mom’s lucky towel that she wraps around my lunch everyday before she brings it to school for me. I spent about an hour and a half searching for that, praying to the Saint of lost objects, hoping that just this time I could find what I was looking for. No such luck. I’m a hopeless case!

I am making progress, though. It is tiring how much effort I have to put into this whole integration process though. I am being forced to ignore my exhaustion in order to fit in with my family. I have not been the best at establishing boundaries because I would rather overexert myself so that my family sees that I am trying my hardest. Today I helped my hostsister cook a traditional Peruvian meal (Aji de Gallina, which incidentally, is listed in Lonely Planet as the most unique Peruvian dish. Ask me for the recipe!) for lunch. I had just stumbled home in the morning after my first weekend night out here, and all I wanted to do was lay down, but instead, I was sort of pressured into cooking for four hours with her. We slaved over the stove only to produce something that looked like a porridge that could have been thrown together in 15 minutes. It was delicious though, and totally worth spending the time with her. Tomorrow, I have plans to teach my family how to bake my favorite cake for my middle host sister’s birthday (and her son’s too, which is on the same day). I don’t know that we will be able to locate all of the ingredients here, but I suppose we will improvise. Improvising seems to be an art here, and cooking does as well.

Last night was one of my better nights spent in Santa Eulalia. Already, everyone in my group is craving foods that are not popular here. 7 of us got together for a dinner party to cook vegetable stirfry with soymeat. Vegetables other than potatoes are actually sold here, but for some reason, are not popular items amongst the people. Our bodies are definitely feeling this veggie deficiency, and our dinner was well appreciated. Unfortunately, we practically counteracted the healthy meal though by eating brownie sundaes a la mode and lots of chocolate in every form sold here. Then we hit the discotecas in Chosica to dance our worries away. Both discotecas that we visited were really neat in appearance and style, and were much more fun than any club I have been to in the states. All in all, it was a nice weekend spent in great company.