September 5, 2006: Here at last!

(Happy Birthday, Ms. Kristen Cummings! I can’t wait to see your sweet self again to celebrate. Throw me a date, and I’ll meet you at Banos del Inca for massages. Let’s live like non-Peace Corps volunteers for a day!)

I reached my permanent site in Jesus, Cajamarca this morning after a 14 hour overnight busride from Lima. I wasn’t nervous during the busride, but I was anxious once I arrived in Cajamarca city about how I would feel pulling up to my actual site. Both of my bags weighed a ton, and I was a bit preoccupied for safety reasons about maneuvering all of my belongings into a taxi to get to Jesus. The transition was smooth, though, and here I sit in my bedroom on the plaza in Jesus. My first minor disappointment occurred as my host dad helped me carry my belongings in. When we reached the top of the stairs, I noticed that he passed by the bedroom (phenomenal master suite) that I had stayed in during my visit here a couple of weeks ago. Instead of a mountain view, I now have a brick wall view. This, to me, means that if ever I feel I am hitting a brick wall with my work here, I can’t even open my window to put myself at ease, because it too is hitting a brick wall. Instead of a cloudlike queen bed, I now have a rockhard twin. On top of these negligible things that I love to bitch about, my room (unlike the other room) has no furniture outside of a bed, and I am laughing just thinking about trying to buy a bureau and desk from the city to transport back here. I can barely handle my luggage, for crying out loud.

Saying goodbye to my family in Santa Eulalia was as sad as I expected it to be. It was way too drawn out, with many farewell dinners, gift exchanges, tearshedding sessions, etc. The prolonged nature of it made it a relief to finally leave, and I definitely sought solace in knowing that I would probably see my family every time I come into Lima. On Friday, we were officially sworn in as Peace Corps volunteers, had a small reception, and then said goodbye to our families one last time. I was really sad to leave my friends’ families as well, all of which made me promise to bring my family and friends from the states to meet them whenever I have visitors. After the swearing in ceremony, we were piled into luggage-packed buses, and taken to Lima for our last evening before heading to our sites. The hotel that the Peace Corps set us up in was really nice, and in the dining/lobby area, visitors are allowed to graffiti the walls, so it was neat not only to leave our mark as Peru 7, but also to see the marks that Peru 1-6 left the night before they went to their sites. I was looking forward to spending time with the whole group one last time, but that is difficult to do with 36 people, so we ended up splitting off and doing our own things. Four of my friends and I attempted to find a good sushi restaurant, but to no avail, so we ended up stumbling upon a Whole Foods type of store that made us as happy as clams after the food that we have been living on for two months. We picked up some whole grain bread, brie, fruit, chocolate, YUM! It’s making me happy just to reminisce! Then, while other people in our group were living it up at bars and discos, we were the nerdy ones in our pajamas by 10pm, watching American movies. The next day, a friend and I explored Lima a bit together, and then the evening was spent giving hugs and seeing people off to their sites. While I didn’t have close friendships with many people in my group, I was truly sad to see them go, and I can’t wait to hear about the incredible things I know they will all do in their towns.

And now, I am here!

Setting small goals for myself has already proven so important. It’s so enticing to lock myself in my bedroom to hide from this environment that is so different than any I may encounter for the rest of my life. It’s easy to convince myself that I don’t have to do anything today, since I have two years here. If anything gets me sad here, I think it’s going to be the avoidant voice in the back of my head, discouraging me from making any progress here. That sounded schizophrenic, I am sure, but it’s the truth. The Peace Corps brings scary things to light, and any qualities a person has can be easily overshadowed by his/her fears of plunging into an untried environment. My first three months is meant to be spent integrating into my town, and if I give into the above urges, I set myself back greatly. Right now, the most stressful obstacle of mine is discussing finances and living arrangements with my host family. In Santa Eulalia during training, the Peace Corps staff pampered us by handling our family business for us. Now, we are left to decide whether we want to prepare our own meals, how much we should pay for rent, and how we should address any other incidentals that may cost us. I think I have decided to prepare breakfast and dinner for myself, and let them prepare lunch for me, which is the largest and most social meal here in Peru. In terms of rent, I have no clue what it should cost to live in the countryside of northern Peru, so I am afraid I might offend them if they ask me to name my own price. We will see how that little chat goes.

Tomorrow, I need to force myself to go to the Centro de Salud, my counterpart, to discuss what my schedule is going to look like. I have about ten townspeople who think they are in charge of planning my days, but in reality, I am in charge of this since I am a community-based volunteer. Warding them off and explaining to them that I am not free labor should be interestingly uncomfortable. I also need to go into the city to buy items like pillows and an alarm clock and food, too. I know it is probably boring for you to read over my laundry list of things I need to do, but I am expecting for at least one of you to hold me accountable for accomplishing these things, instead of hiding under my bed like I sort of want to do. I’ll check back in a few days and let you know what I have actually been doing with my time. I am sure the suspense will kill you!