November 18, 2007: Facing the facts

Well, after a certain occurrence the other day, it is pretty clear that my only Peruvian friend has a crush on me. While I am as flattered as any gal might be in my shoes, I worry that Freddy being sweet on me might hamper our ever-growing bond. Here I naively thought that all of our shared good times were founded upon a strong base of platonic friendship. I feel betrayed and am desperately searching for a ginger way to let my friend know that the feelings he has for me are not mutual. Unless I want to destroy the beautiful connection we have created over the last year and a half, I must handle this matter very delicately. Freddy is not like most guys. He is sensitive and kind, and I don’t want him to shed tears over the affair, which he is known to do every now and then. Before I get carried away with this common tale of unrequited love, perhaps I should tell you a bit about Freddy. He´s seven. Amongst his myriad interests are not doing his homework, getting as dirty as possible in our front lawn on a daily basis, and drinking orange soda. He is missing his two front teeth, which has made conversing very difficult lately. Somehow, despite our broken conversations, Freddy has managed to fall head over heels for none other than me. How will things between us ever be the same?

Perhaps you are curious about how I came to realize his love for me. It all started with a simple sharing of an avocado, his favorite food. When I first moved in, all avocadoes were reserved for Freddy, the growing boy of our household. A couple of weeks ago though, while we were watching our favorite cartoon together (Backyardigans), Freddy plopped down next to me on my host mom´s bed, cracked open a ripe delicious-looking avocado, and handed me the bigger half (the one without the pit, what a gentleman!). I´ll admit that I wouldn´t have looked much into this incident without those that followed. Two nights later, I asked Freddy if he wanted me to make him another cheese sandwich during supper time. Normally, I would have received an eager yes, but on that fated night, Freddy seemed embarrassed by my gesture and proceeded to show me that he was actually quite skilled at putting bread and cheese together. Maybe you see his sudden change in behavior as a simple act of defiance, but I see it as Freddy trying to convince me that while we are 18 years apart, we are capable of very similar things. But what I am about to share with you next, my friends, is the kicker. A couple of days ago I went to the market to buy some rice for my family. As I was walking over the bridge to our house with the rice in tote, there was a moment when I could see my family farming in our garden, but they couldn´t see me. A moment later, they could see me, but thought that I couldn´t see them. The campo is so mysterious and chock full of blind spots! During that second moment, Freddy, who was previously kicking around a soccer ball, stole a gargantuan gardening tool from his mom, and started eagerly chipping away at the earth. When I came around the corner and everyone was finally in full view of one another, Freddy acted superficially surprised to see me, and in an exasperated tone (while wiping his brow of fake sweat), said, ¨Oh hey Lindsay, we´ve just been working in the garden for hours. I guess since you´re here now, I should stop. Maybe we could do my homework now.¨ His mom shot a very confused look in his direction, but being a good mom, I guess she didn´t want to embarrass him in front of his first love. Freddy put the garden tool that was twice his size back in the hands of his mom, and we went inside to do some short division problems. All in all, a very romantic evening spent in Huambocancha Alta.

Before I convince you all that I am a pedophile, I suppose I will change topics. I am sad to announce that I have lost my cool gringa status within my community. I enjoyed a year and a half of celebrity rank, but now, I am nothing but a has-been. Outside of Freddy, I no longer faze any of my community members, and it seems like the school kids are downright unenthused in my presence. Last week, my friend and I announced to our two classes that we would not be meeting the next week because of the Thanksgiving holiday. We actually witnessed kids giving the thumbs-up sign to one another, something that I immediately found myself wishing was not universal. I don´t need to be popular, but I certainly don´t want to be loathed. This may seem trivial to people with real jobs and real stress, but my friend and I felt utterly rejected and used. There is really nothing worse than planning cool activities for kids who don´t respect you and think your activities are a waste. In our dejection, we found ourselves coming up with some not-so-healthy coping mechanisms (drinking heavily and self-medicating), so hopefully our impending Thanksgiving vacation alone will rejuvenate us. We don´t want to have to turn elsewhere (to booze) for help.

In a couple of days a group of 15 of us are headed up north to the most popular surf spot in Peru (Mancora) to celebrate Thanksgiving. A traditional Thanksgiving is not an easy feat here considering that half of the ingredients had to be mailed from the States. Basically the only two things that can be found here are potatoes and turkey. Summer is just beginning in Peru, so it should prove to be a good time. Maybe after 18 months here and multiple trips to the beach, I will actually brave the robust waves of Peru´s Pacific. Probably not, though. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!